literature

Put That On My Tab

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Queen-of-Marigold's avatar
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Literature Text

The explosion caught everyone's attention. Shards of flaming debris rocketed out from the blast site and the sound alone was enough to knock people to the ground. Shaking shattered glass from her hair, Elizabeth quickly found where her gun had landed and ran to the door. In the room behind her, the previously disinterested diners were screaming and clutching one another. Outside, the only sounds were the roaring of the fires and the heavy stamp of the approaching soldiers. With a little sigh she crossed the room once more, ducking through the kitchen and into the alley, wishing she'd had a chance at least to finish her meal.
I know that "you don’t need a huge explosion to draw someone in" but dammit if they aren't fun.


... I don't know how much subtlety is in this but if you don't want to know what Elizabeth is doing in a diner with a gun, or why she's running away from a bunch of soldiers, then you can go back to your knitting and your Sunday Driving. :P

Submission for *Writers-Workshop workshop on openings... did I catch your attention?
© 2009 - 2024 Queen-of-Marigold
Comments19
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GrimEden's avatar
Well, I’m hooked. There is enough of the character see a criminal or a rebel with the soldier appearing as an initial antagonist. I’m interested in an explanation for the action, and how placing the reader in the middle of a scene plays out to establish the narrative. Nice job.